Finally I was seeing the tales of my childhood played out in real life in a way that applied to me!
I realized I was looking at this beautiful woman and wondering how I look at the female body as a woman who desires women.I sat down with Shockey to chat about how her queerness impacts her art. I think I formed a sense of myself through play, and through looking at and making artwork.When I was a kid, I was obsessed with classical Italian drawing. My first crush was on the three Graces in Boticelli's "Primavera," with their high foreheads and voluptuous breasts! To be honest, I don't think I realized that I could even be bisexual or queer or a lesbian until high school. Shockey: I came out to my mom and dad in college and have always been very open with my sister about my crushes and relationships.I felt as though I was using my friend's nudity (and inherent vulnerability) to find a pleasing image and an artistic voice without even considering her relationship with her visual self, and that really upset me. I feel as though I haven't come to any conclusions about how to depict women in any other way than what I have experienced personally. Shockey: Well, I think it's clear that I look at women's bodies with desire, but I also have a female body, and I know what it feels like to be made vulnerable by someone's eyes.I switched my project and started using my own body to try to figure out what it felt like to be the person represented and the person doing the representing and how that dynamic is different or the same depending on our attractions. It's just so complicated, and I'll probably forever be exploring the dynamic of agency and observation.